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All that I have found in reason, is reason just to not believe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fucked up visions in my head I did it again. I think I'm turning back into my old self. I'm having trouble falling asleep again, and thoughts of cutting invade my head all the time. I don't understand. I thought I was past that point in my life - I thought it was over. I guess not. But in a way it's kind of comforting, because cutting has been a part of my life since, like, the 7th or 8th grade. I want to stop, but, then again, I really don't. I can't decide. I can't really see any downside to cutting at all, so I don't really have any motivation to stop. It leaves scars, but I'm torn about those as well. I love them and I think they're beautiful, but I also wish there was an 'on/off' button for them because they're mine and I don't want the whole world to see them. They're starting to fade, though, which is good because it means I can wear tank tops and short-sleeved shirts again, but it makes me sad too because I know I'll miss them if they fade completely away. I don't know. I need some sleep. 1:36 a.m. - 2006-03-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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