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All that I have found in reason, is reason just to not believe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yet you feed us lies from the tablecloth Here's an email I sent my boyfriend yesterday: I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't even know if I want to do this anymore. You say you think about me all the time, you miss me, you love me; well, you sure have a strange way of showing it. You say what I think matters to you, but it's becoming more and more clear that what I say or think doesn't mean shit to you. I have enough to think about without worrying that you are doing shit again, or that you are running to the city all the time [to get weed and sometimes other drugs], or that you're lying to me. You make me feel like I don't matter at all, and that's not what a relationship is about. You make me cry, and I hate crying. But I can't help it. I love you, but you don't respect me and you don't respect how I feel or what I think. So forget the anniversary, forget calling me, and forget seeing me - I just need some space to figure out how I feel about things. This should make you happy - now you can spend all the time with ***** that you want to, although that's probably what you're doing anyway. I hate sending this in an email, but I honestly don't want to talk to you, and I don't have any way to get ahold of you since your phone is shut off and you are never home so I couldn't even if I wanted to. Just consider us to be on a break. I'll probably talk to you shortly after I get out of school, which is the first week of May. Was it a bitchy thing to do? Yes. Was it the right thing to do? I don't know, but I think so. I would write more, but I think I'll go smoke instead... 5:05 p.m. - 2007-04-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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