All that I have found in reason, is reason just to not believe

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I'm a hazard to myself

I'm in such a pissy mood. It's been a bad week. I don't want to see or talk to anyone. I was supposed to have an appointment at the counseling center, but I caneled because I didn't really feel like going. I don't ever want to go again. It's not helping. I hate it.

I'm so pissed off at my boyfriend. I don't even think I really want to be with him anymore, but he drives me around, gets me high, and fucks me like crazy. Isn't that horrible? I'm a horrible person.

Maybe we just need a break. I can't imagine being without him, but he keeps lying to me. He promised he wouldn't lie to me anymore, but he just keeps doing it. I can't take it. And he is always high it seems like. I don't care if he wants to do drugs for the rest of his life, but that's not who I want to be, and that's not who I want to be with. And if he can't understand that, then maybe we really do need a break.

4:35 p.m. - 2006-02-16

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self - destruct