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All that I have found in reason, is reason just to not believe ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In your eyes, I lost my place I should be studying. I need to be studying. But instead I'm on the computer. As usual. So I had my meeting with the RD today. We went and had lunch - yeah, it was pretty weird. He just kept asking me and asking me about school and grades and shit like that. I try to lie as little as possible - I told him I don't study as much as I should and, usually, I don't study at all. He asked me why and he seemed surprised when I told him I didn't have any self-discipline. Hey, he asked. So, like I mentioned before, my boyfriend came and saw me this weekend. My roommate wasn't there, so we had a pretty amazing weekend since we didn't have to worry about being interrupted. The only thing is we sorta did it without a condom a couple of times and I'm not on birth control...I know, I know, it's really stupid and I shouldn't be tempting fate like that because I really CANNOT have a baby right now. But it's so easy to get carried away... Now I'm just hoping and praying for my period. Honestly, the only time a girl is ever happy to get her period is when she's had unprotected sex and doesn't want to be pregnant. I can't think of any other times when I was happier to start my period. Anyway. I really wanted to tell him I loved him this weekend. I think I do, but I'm so scared. And I don't even understand why. I guess I just don't want to get hurt. I'm not a very trusting person, anyway. You know that one trust exercise where you fall backwards into the arms of someone else? I can't do it. I can't let myself fall. I guess the same concept applies here. Still, the question remains: How do you know if you're in love with someone? 1:09 a.m. - 2005-12-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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